I find myself crying less and numb more. I miss the way things were. I hate the way things are. Everyone is starting to make their Thanksgiving plans. I dread it. Thanksgivng was one of your favorite holidays. All I can think about is your famous saying "I'll do tricks for turkey" I can think of the times when my heart broke when you couldn't taste it anymore, then you couldn't eat it at all. I was so hoping this year you would be happy and able to eat. This time last year we were looking forward to alot. You had not be told your cancer was back. Seems like a long time ago, a million years. A year ago was the difference between hope and heartache. Baby I am missing you. Your loving wife Pam